Game Time

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Videogames are a lot like TV after all. You rarely plop down planning to spend 30 minutes on this or three hours and a sack of pork rinds on that. You start and it just sort of happens. But skip the whole moderation thing for too long and you'll end up wondering where the time went, or worse -- as a member of the cold-turkey quitter club. Fortunately, we've got a what-to-play-when guide just for you -- the gamer on a schedule.

30 Seconds

Wario Ware Inc.: Mega Microgames,
Wario Ware Inc.: Mega Party Game$
When you're in it for only a minute, Wario Ware, which serves up a gaggle of lickety- split micro-games on Game Boy Advance and GameCube, is the way to go. Pick a nose, skip rope, save princesses, and battle Metroid's Mother Brain -- all before your subway stop.

Feel the Magic
This menagerie of mini-games for Nintendo's new DS is a lot like Wario Ware, but with sexy gals instead of sweaty Guidos. Rub their backs with the handheld's stylus while blowing in their ears via its microphone, but we wouldn't play it on the bus for fear of strangers throwing change at us.

American Idol
Amount of time it'll take you to figure out you're playing one of the worst games ever made: approximately 30 seconds.

Five Minutes

Burnout 3
It takes five minutes to go from stoplight to stoplight in a real car in real traffic. See the world in the same time at 300 mph instead.

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Save the whole become-a-kingpin stuff for the kids on summer break. While your date does her hair, try popping in GTA, grabbing a sedan, and wrecking havoc until your wanted level hits Whitney Houston proportions.

Midway Arcade Treasures
Coin-operated classics including Robotron and Smash TV were made to take your money (meaning you won't be playing long, whether you like it or not).

15 Minutes

Soul Calibur II, Dead or Alive Ultimate,
Mortal Kombat: Deception
Matches in most fighting games last as long as a Tyson bout back before the champ turned cannibal. The problem is putting 'em down after the count.

Donkey Konga
You won't catch us rocking solo on this rhythm game, but it's ideal for dates. Bang on the bongos for 15 minutes or until your gal's third glass of bubbly takes effect -- whichever comes first.

Pikmin 2
Each day on planet Pikmin (OK, so it's really Earth) lasts exactly 15 minutes. Just enough time to amass an army of plant people and gather a few antiques.

30 Minutes

Madden NFL 2005, ESPN NFL Football 2K5
Commercial-free sports (because you tried TiVo-ing the big game before, but couldn't keep your finger off the fast forward button when your team was in trouble).

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2005
Golfing 18 holes takes half the time without all those geezers on the greens.

Dance Dance Revolution
Picture yourself in boxers and socks high-stepping to Hadaway (What is love?). Now hold that thought for 30 glorious, grueling minutes and you've got a decent workout.

An Hour

Halo 2
You can play in five- to 30-minutes stretches, but that, as you discovered when you missed granny's last birthday bash, doesn't mean you will. Always set aside a few hours for this multiplayer masterpiece.

Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle-Earth, Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War
Armies fall faster than Gollum down Mount Doom, but raising 'em takes precious time.

The Guy Game
It'll be an hour before you see your first nipple in this slow-paced, T&A-laced party.

An Entire Evening

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
Sneaking around, preying on wildlife, and patching yourself up after getting shot at is seriously exhausting. Play in three hour spurts, avoiding prolonged exposure to Metal Gear's more challenging elements when possible.

The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay
Sure, its big screen brother bombed, but this must-play pitch black beauty lets you save the day in six hours.

Sims 2
The Sim lifecycle is on par with a housefly's; in other words, it'll take you at least a handful of hours to see them from cradle to coffin.

A Marathon Weekend

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Turning two-bit perp Carl "CJ" Johnson into a proper goodfella takes more time than watching the entire Godfather trilogy.

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Grow old you will, getting through every side quest, gathering lightsabers and status in this thick-plotted, planet-tripping chapter of the Star Wars saga.

Half-Life 2
Changing tires, dropping deuces, playing through the year's finest game in a single sitting -- some business you don't start unless you know you can finish it.

-- Shawn Elliott